


just so good at fucking up

by whatdoiknowx



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: I'm trying to be safe since this fic deals with consent issues, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, i think that tag works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdoiknowx/pseuds/whatdoiknowx
Summary: Dan is excited to wake Phil up with a morning blowjob. Things do not go as planned.(set in September 2010. deals with consent issues)





	just so good at fucking up

Dan wakes up slowly, stretching languidly. His fringe is matted to his forehead, and he pushes it back, fingers attempting to straighten through the messy, hideous curls that he can't bring himself to really care about for now. There's a thin layer of sweat coating his entire body, despite the cool breeze coming through the window. 

He feels slightly disgusting, sort of wants to get up and have a shower, but he also never wants to leave this bed. This bed may be the only place he's ever felt completely happy, completely safe. 

Dan yawns, a smile threatening to overtake his entire face despite the tiredness still settling in his bones. He trails his hand slowly down his stomach, wrapping his fingers lazily around his hard cock. His thoughts drift back to the night before, to soft lips around his cock, to teeth sinking into his neck, to fingers pressing into his ass. His ass clenches at the memory.

How he got this lucky, Dan will never understand. Hand still wrapped loosely around his cock, he turns on his side to stare at the sleeping man beside him. It still seems a bit like a dream that Phil actually wanted him back, that someone incredible as Phil met someone like Dan and is still here. He still can't quite believe that he's here in Phil's flat instead of his dank room in halls, that this is somehow really his life.

Dan's cock seems to harden further in his hand as he stares at Phil's sleeping face, at the fringe falling into one eye, duvet lowered down to reveal his bare chest. A burst of lust shoots down to Dan's groin, his body responding instantaneously. He shifts closer, and is immediately met with Phil's hard cock pressing insistently into his thigh. 

Dan groans, squeezing his own cock and slowing sliding his hand along the length. He bites his lip, entire body filling with pure _want_. 

He doesn't know how it's been nearly a year since they first met in person, and he still wants Phil _this_ bad. It was never like this with his ex. He was into her, obviously, definitely attracted to her, but it wasn't like _this_. It didn't feel like his skin was constantly on fire, like both his heart and his cock physically yearned to be near her at all times, like he feels around Phil. 

Dan moves his thigh experimentally against Phil's cock. Phil lets out a low groan in his sleep, rolling over onto his back and thrusting his hips slightly into the air, and Dan's cock twitches in response. _Fuck_. Dan wanks himself a bit faster, biting his lip harder to keep his moans quiet. 

He's never been more thankful that Phil finally moved into his own place. Minus a couple vacations where they could be completely alone together, it was hard to get enough alone time when they were both living with their parents. Now, they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without having to worry about ever being interrupted.

The thought sends a shiver of excitement down Dan's spine. He slides quietly down the bed, slipping the duvet carefully down past Phil's thighs. 

Phil almost always wakes up first, at least the limited nights they've been able to spend together in the past several months. He's woken Dan up with the most mind-blowing blowjobs a couple times, and Dan's eager to finally get to return the favour. 

Wrapping one hand around the base of Phil's cock, Dan sinks down slowly, legs bracketed on either side of Phil. He licks teasingly against the tip, feeling Phil's hips stutter slightly beneath him. He glances up to check if Phil's still asleep, then licks a longer strip along the base of his cock. 

His own cock twitches in response. Dan has definitely found a certain... affinity to sucking cock since meeting Phil. It was a bit scary at first, so far out of his comfort zone compared to his past experience with only girls, but Dan loves it. He loves the taste, the heavy weight against his tongue, the feeling of another person coming apart in his mouth.

Dan presses his palm against his own cock, trying to stave off the impending pressure building. He wants to wait, wants this to last until Phil wakes up and they can come apart together.

He has half of Phil's cock in his mouth, hungrily sucking and licking against the hard length, when he feels Phil start to stir. Dan grins, hand picking up pace along his own cock as he sinks down lower and sucks Phil harder, eagerly anticipating the moment Phil fully wakes up and realizes Dan is blowing him. 

Those have been some of the best times for Dan - waking up slowly from a blissful dream, to realize that the phantom pressure against his cock is actually real pressure, that the person he's so insanely attracted to has his gorgeous lips around him. Dan doesn't think there could possibly be a better way to wake up than that, and he's excited for Phil to experience that feeling.

"Wha-?" Dan hears Phil's croaky morning voice. He drags his mouth back up to the tip, licking against the slit like Phil likes, then sinks quickly back down, enveloping Phil's cock with his mouth as best he can. 

He hears a quiet noise, interpreting it as a moan of pleasure. Dan grins against Phil's cock, working his tongue in the ways he's come to learn that Phil likes.

There's another noise, and then a quiet mumble that Dan thinks might have been "Stop". 

Wait, what? Dan pulls his mouth off slowly, his body still bracketing Phil's lower half. 

As he glances confusedly up at Phil, he hears a louder "Stop!" and then "Get off me!".

Dan's heart thuds, and he realizes belatedly that his right hand is still cupping the base of Phil's cock. He drops it like he's been burned, watching as it slaps back against Phil's stomach.

Phil's legs are squirming beneath Dan's weight now. 

"Get off me!" It's practically a scream now, a desperate edge to Phil's tone. 

Shaking, Dan slides clumsily off of Phil. His heart is still pounding. 

"I'm - " Dan looks nervously up at Phil. He realizes his hands are shaking, so he tucks them under his thighs to still them. 

Phil looks just as shaken as Dan feels, more so actually. He quickly covers his face with his hands when he sees Dan looking.

"I - " Phil mumbles. "Sorry, I - " 

"I didn't - I... sorry." Dan's heart is racing so fast he can't even think properly. All he can think is that he messed up, he hurt Phil, he did _something_ wrong because he's a fuck-up and fuck, he hurt Phil. 

"I just wasn't expecting...." Phil trails off, standing shakily up from the bed. Dan stares at the duvet, because it somehow feels wrong to be looking at Phil's naked body, like he doesn't have the right. "I just need a sec."

Dan just continues to stare at the bed as Phil opens a couple dresser drawers and then leaves the room. He feels sick to his stomach. What had he just done? He didn't think. He didn't know Phil didn't want this. That's what this is about, right? 

Dan shivers. He feels exposed sitting naked on Phil's bed, so he grabs his pair of trackies and t-shirt from the night before off the floor and pulls them on. 

He doesn't know what to do. Bile rises in his throat, and he swears he might be sick right then and there. Swallowing against the nausea, Dan takes a deep breath, curling in on himself on Phil's bed. Tears slide down his face, dampening his cheeks and pooling at the bottom of his neck. 

He hears water running in the bathroom down the hall. Should he go check on Phil? Or should he just leave him alone? Maybe he should just quietly leave and never come back. He'd fucked up, fucked up bad, and he doesn't even quite understand exactly _what_ had gone wrong. 

He's frozen in place, debating what to do next, when Phil returns. He's dressed now, too.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have - " Phil starts.

"Are you alright?" Dan asks at the same time. His voice wavers at the end.

Phil nods. "I shouldn't have just left. I just got... freaked out, for a minute. I don't know." He runs a hand through his hair, in a way Dan's come to know as a nervous gesture.

"What happened?" Dan's voice sounds terrified even to himself, and Phil must hear it too, because he quickly walks to the bed and sits down next to Dan. 

"I don't know." Phil takes a long breath. "I just didn't like... that. I didn't know what was happening when I woke up, and I got. I dunno. Scared." He's staring down at the mattress, not meeting Dan's eyes. "It's silly."

"It's not silly," Dan says immediately. God, he fucked up, and _Phil_ thinks it's his fault? It's not enough that he has to make a mess of his own life, but now he has to fuck up someone else, too? "I shouldn't have - I should have asked first." The sick feeling is back again. He's a horrible person. Why did he think this was okay? What was he _thinking_?

"No - " Phil starts, but Dan cuts him off.

"I didn't mean to - I'm so fucking sorry, Phil." Dan voice cracks, and tears start streaming down his face again.

He feels Phil pull him in for a cuddle, and he lets him because he's fucking weak and he's going to take the comfort even when he doesn't deserve it. 

"It's okay, it's okay," he hears Phil whisper against his hair.

Dan pulls back, wiping his hand messily against his nose. "No, it's not!"

"Dan - "

"You didn't want it," Dan says quietly. He rubs his hands over his face, shaking his head back and forth. "That's so fucked up. That I didn't even fucking ask you first."

Phil's hand is on Dan's shoulder now, squeezing comfortingly. "Dan, c'mon. Look at me, please." His voice sounds scared now, as well. 

Dan breathes slowly, looking tentatively back at Phil. He expects to see pure disgust, but what he sees is mostly concern, mixed with a bit of fear. 

"I've done that to you before, yeah?"

Dan nods.

"And you liked it?"

Dan nods again.

"So it's my fault then, not yours." Phil's cheeks begin to colour, face reddening with embarrassment. "I'm sorry.. I - I don't know what - "

Dan shakes his head again. How can Phil say this is his fault? "Phil, it's not your fault if you don't like something." It feels like he's stating the obvious, but Phil needs to hear this, Dan needs him to fucking _understand_. It was all Dan's fault. Dan is the one who messed everything up, because that's what he does best.

"I know.. I just - I think I would have liked it?" Phil runs his hand through his fringe again. "I'm pretty sure I would have liked it. I just wasn't.. expecting it?" He shrugs, picking at a piece of fluff on his joggers. "I've just never woken up like that before, and I get like, weirdly anxious? When things happen and I don't know what's happening. Sorry, I'm so fucking weird, I know."

"You're not," Dan protests, as earnestly as he can, because he needs Phil to understand that he's the best thing that has ever happened to him.

"I think I would like it, next time, now that I know to, like, expect it, and stuff." Phil shrugs again, a tentative smile playing on his lips.

"Next time?" Dan asks. Phil still wants to be with him after that?

"Only if you want to try that again," Phil says, and the slight nervousness is back in his voice again.

"You should be breaking up with me," is what Dan manages to utter. 

"What?" Phil looks confused.

"I fucking - like - I messed up so bad - like, there wasn't, like, consent and shit, and you can't forgive that and you should be fucking breaking up with me - I don't deserve - you don't deserve that - " Dan's rambling, he knows, but he needs Phil to know that he knows what he did was _wrong_ , that he shouldn't be with him anymore.

"Dan." Phil shifts closer, placing his hand on Dan's thigh. "Dan, stop, babe." His eyes are filling with tears, spilling over as Dan looks back with his own tearful eyes. "I've done the same thing to you. And you liked it," he repeats the same thing from earlier.

"That doesn't matter - "

"I know." Phil sighs, but he pulls Dan in closer and Dan lets him. "It's - I just - I know you, Dan. I know you wouldn't do anything like that on purpose."

"Of course, I would never, but - " Dan trails off. He didn't think he would ever do something like this that hurt Phil even in the slightest, but it still happened. 

"I think we just need to, like, talk a bit more about these things, and maybe set some ground rules for things we're maybe, like, okay or not okay with?" Phil peers back at Dan.

Dan nods slowly. "I think that can maybe work." His heart rate has finally slowed down, the nausea mostly faded away. He's starting to think that maybe things can actually be okay, that he can somehow fix things. 

Phil slips under the duvet, lying back against his pillow. "C'mere." He motions for Dan.

Dan follows, curling back under the covers and lying on his side, facing Phil. Phil's hand slides comfortingly along Dan's side.

"Listen to me, okay?" 

Dan nods, staring back into Phil's gentle eyes.

"I know you didn't mean for anything bad to happen."

Dan nods again, reaching for Phil's hand to squeeze.

"I think we need to work on communicating and stuff, for sure, both of us," Phil continues.

"And make sure nothing like that ever happens again," Dan adds forcefully. He'll definitely make sure nothing like that ever happens again. 

"Yeah," Phil says softly, squeezing Dan's hand back. "I love you, so much." He presses his forehead against Dan's.

"Love you, too," Dan whispers back.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Yesterday" by Marianas Trench
> 
>  
> 
> tumblr post [ here ](https://onedirectionticketss1.tumblr.com/post/179777525578/title-just-so-good-at-fucking-up-word-count)


End file.
